It appears the FBI is investigating super-magician David Copperfield. He also canceled his upcoming shows in Asia because a woman is charging him with sexual misconduct.

Can't he just makes these charges disappear?]

How long until everyone start calling him "David Cop-A Feel"?

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There are terrible wildfires devastating large areas of Los Angeles and San Diego.

We New Yorkers take comfort in this. Wildfires, mudlsides, earthquakes; they make us feel better about living in a $4,000 per month 200 square foot apartment.

We are concerned though about floating embers causing spontaneous fake tit combustion. Our reality TV shows would be depopulated.