As I have detailed here, I grew an extensive vegetable and herb garden at my parent's house in NJ this summer. Among other things I grew two huge Red Chili Pepper plants and a large jalapeno plant.

The idea being that I could make some great Mexican food with these two key ingredients.

Well I harvested the chili peppers, brought them back to NYC with me and began to prepare them. I froze half of them so that I can use them for cooking whenever I like.

The other half I put in the toaster for 15 minutes until they dried out. I then used a mortar and pestle to crush them so I could have my own home made chili powder.

The crushing went pretty well, but I didn't think it was fine enough so I crushed it again using my fingers. The perfect solution. All well and done.

I washed my hands. A few minutes later I went to pee. I peed. 5 minutes later...

MY PENIS WAS ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ran around the apartment howling, I washed it down with water, nothing could ease my pain.

Imagine biting into a raw chili pepper and how your mouth would burn. That was my PENIS for two hours. I was practically crying from the pain.

So please people, for the love of God, be mindful of your genitals when handling peppers.