Friday, April 14, 2006

Denizens of New York City who deserve Cobra bites to their nether regions:

-John Bolton, US Ambassador to the U.N. The same John Bolton who once said that if the top 10 floors of the U.N. were blown off it would be an improvement. You sir are everything this city and the country is NOT supposed to be. You are on the list of top-ten Americans who have cost us our respect and credibility in the world.

-Carson Daly. I mostly avoid Times Square just so I don't have to see his smarmy, gloating, big head in the window of MTV's studio.

-The "Naked Cowboy." Dude, you are not NAKED, you are NOT in any way shape or form a classic piece of "NY Street Kitsch" you play guitar like a first year student with three fingers. GO HOME!!!!!

-Meter Maids (although many of them seem to be Indian men nowadays and I don't see them dressed in Saris). No, I haven't gotten a ticket in more than a year (knock wood) but I just find them despicable. I watch as they sneak, and lurk and hide in corners. I watch as they wait patiently for the last minute to tick off the meter. I watch as they laugh in the faces of drivers who come running to the car only 8.6 too late. I sneer at them as they write tickets for $65 just for not having another quarter.

-Ann Coulter. I know, I can't believe she lives here either.

-The meat cutter at Gristedes Supermarket. How many F-ing times do I have to tell you I like the dry, Grade-A smoked turkey, not that wet, slimey shit they use at SUBWAY.

-The guy who is supposed to fix the intercom systems on the Subway platforms.