Monday, April 17, 2006

A blast from the past.

I was a little different.

At school, when I was young, all the other kids had their STAR WARS, Scooby Doo and G.I. Joe lunchboxes.

I had my "Great Writers of Russsia" Lunch Box.

One day at school a bully started harassing me and threatened to beat me silly. I told him to stop a moment, and think about how his actions at that moment would forever alter the course of his future, mine and at the same time would have ripple effects on the lives of people we didn't even know.

I explained to him (paraphrasing Tolstoy) that all great movements, events and lives were simply the result of the grand ebbs and flows of events and decisions beyond our control, but at any given moment, a single decision WE make, can alter that ebb and flow.

He stood staring at me, slackjawed, looking like the proverbial wild beast tamed by a melody of haunting beauty.

Then he slugged me in the face.

I got up off my ass and proceeded, lifted the mighty metal Great Writers of Russia lunchbox over my head and, proceeded to bash his skull in.

He crumpled into a heap and I continued to beat him about the head and shoulders. He screamed for me to stop. I just kept yelling "NYET, NYET, NYET."

He never bothered me again and the great flow of history carried on.