From the "you can't make this shit up file" a.k.a tales from America:

As reported in THE WEEK

A 12 year old California girl has been charged with criminal battery for her role in a game of Dodgeball. Brittany Schneiders, an honor roll student bloodied the lip of a fellow student by "playing to aggressively." She is expected to argue in criminal court that striking other players with the ball is an integral part of the game.

Said her mother: "They should have zero-tolerance for gang members, but zero tolerance for a girl playing dodgeball?"

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A pair of Maryland FBI agents marched into a library in Bethesda and loudly announced it was illegal for patrons to view pornography on library computers. In fact adults are allowed to view such sites under the First Amendment. "The two agents clearly overstepped their authority" said a Homeland Security official.

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A Florida middle school teacher was charged with letting students buy their way out of Gym class. Gym teacher Terrence Braxton demanded students pay him $1 every time they wanted to skip his class. "It's not bad if you can make an extra $100 a day tax free," said Ronnie Arnold, a spokesman for the school district.