I have updated them, please feel free to contribute.

HISTORICAL AND CURRENT EVENTS AS FOX NEWS WOULD REPORT THEM AS I HAVE RECENTLY UPDATE THEM.

FRINGE RADICAL GROUP, DRESSED LIKE INDIANS, DESTROY PERSONAL PROPERTY IN BOSTON HARBOR

PRESIDENT BUSH DECLARES WAR ON NEW AXIS OF EVIL, WATER, WIND, FEMA

WASHINGTON POST BREAKS UNFOUNDED ALLEGATIONS AGAINST NIXON

JULIUS CAESAR STABBED BY COWARDLY TRAITOR HIPPIES - WHY DO THEY HATE ROMAN FREEDOM?

EXXON VALDEZ KILLS VICIOUS ALASKAN WILDLIFE IN SELF-DEFENSE

FUGITIVE HIPPIE CARPENTER ARRESTED - Terrorist Jesus al Nazareth given fair trial. Execution set outside Jerusalem tomorrow

TRIUMPH AS REAGAN'S ARMY CRUSHES THE EVIL FORCES OF GRANADA

1964: ENGLISH HIPPIES ALLOWED INTO AMERICA - COLLAPSE OF CIVILIZATION IMMINENT AS ONE SEDITIOUS GREAK CLAIMS TO BE MORE POPULAR THAN OUR LORD AND SAVIOR

VISIGOTH COMPANY "VISIBURTON" GIVEN EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS TO URBAN REDEVELOPMENT OF ROME

EXTREMIST ANTI-GOD/PRO-SATAN FORCES CREATE NEW SPECIES CALLED "DINOSAUR"; PLANT FAKE BONES ACROSS THE GLOBE

"INDIANS HATE FREEDOM. WE LOVE FREEDOM," SAYS GENERAL CUSTER.

ENVIRONMENTALIST WACKOS TRYING TO BAN LEAD FROM PAINT

HOMOSEXUAL/SODOMITE LOBBYING GROUP ABUCTS CHENEY DAUGHTER - INJECTS HER WITH GAY VIRUS - DOCTORS SAY NO CURE IN SIGHT