Thursday, January 27, 2005

Notes From Underground - Volume 7 ed. 7 -Garden State humor edition.

I love movies. I don't go to many in the theater anymore because its just too much of a time commitment. You have to arrive 20 minutes early to get a seat, then 30 minutes if commercials and previews and then a two hour film. Counting the time to get to and from the theater its almost a 3 1/2 hour ordeal. I would rather rent a film for $4.

Thinking about the movies also got me to thinking what an incredible part New Jerseyans play in the entertainment realm, for such a small state it has produced an incredible number of movie stars. Jack Nicholson, Danny Devito, Bruce Willis, John Travolta, Susan Sarandon, Meryl Streep, its a HUGE list. Here are some NJ funnymen.

"Please explain to me why John Kerry sounds more dickish telling the truth than Bush sounds when he's lying. How is that possible?" —Jon Stewart

"Bush bragged that more Iraqis say their country is on the right track than Americans say our country is on the right track. Boy, there’s a campaign slogan for you — 'America: More F*cked Up Than Fallujah!'" —Bill Maher

Cardinal Glick: Fill them pews, people, that's the key. Grab the little ones as well. Hook 'em while they're young.
Rufus: Kind of like the tobacco industry?
Cardinal Glick: Christ, if only we had their numbers.
-Kevin Smith, "Dogma"

Sam: Hey, I recognize you.
Andrew Largeman: Oh, did you go to Columbia High?
Sam: No, not from high school, from TV. Didn't you play the retarded quarterback?
Andrew Largeman: Yeah.
Sam: Are you really retarded?
Andrew Largeman: No.
Sam: Ooh, great job man! I really thought you were retarded. I mean, you're better than that Corky kid and he's actually retarded. If there was a retarded Oscar you would win, hands down, kick his ass!
-Zach Braff in his film "Garden State"